Step into the waterfall

"When our heartfelt attention begins to separate the reality of the present from the endless waterfall of our thoughts, the world shines with a brilliant beauty.  We also begin to see how much our unnoticed interior states and unrecognized beliefs control our lives."
  -- Jack Kornfield, After the Ecstasy, the Laundry .

I love that idea, the endless waterfall of our thoughts -- it makes that constant flow seem less of an enemy; more of a constant rush and flow that can carry us to new places.  It makes it less muddy, more something to stand in and peer through to the hidden treasures; the rocks that glisten beneath, the caves still to be explored -- if we're willing to step through to the other side.

I'm not sure I understood, when I began meditation practice, that it would not only help me to find those quiet peaceful caves inside; that it would also reveal those -- often unpleasant, and hard to love -- patterns that so color our perceptions.  At first I remember being horrified to watch where my mind went: it was so often selfish, anxious, or angry; eager to please and impress...

But with time I've learned to be patient with that, to accept the inevitable failings, to watch for projections, to be wary of assumptions, and to look through and beyond the relentless flow of ego to the treasure and the tenderness that wait, open and vulnerable, still hopeful and longing, beneath the cynicism and occasional despair.

Because the truth is that you have to be willing to step into the waterfall, walk through the cold and the tears and the occasional terror, if you want to see beyond it to the open, aching heart that lies beneath.