Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Something's lost but something's gained

I just spent a marvelous weekend exploring my Virginia roots. I'd flown to Richmond to attend the wedding of a cousin I'd found through a mutual friend on Facebook: turns out my great grandfather had divorced my grandmother after 27 years of marriage, remarried, and had four more children. My cousin Anne, who is an Episcopal priest and quite a bit younger than I am, is actually the daughter of my grandfather's brother. (Hmmm -- does that make her my aunt, not my cousin? I suspect it might!)

At any rate, she was married this weekend in the Virginia town where I was born (though she actually grew up in Pennsylvania she now has a parish in Newport News), so I had the good fortune, not only to meet her, her new husband, and her brother, and spend time with my ADORABLE great-aunt and uncle, but also to explore the community where I spent the first seven years of my life, taking pictures of the house we lived in, visiting the nearby museum I loved and the church my parents founded, breathing in the scent of the James River, walking its sandy shores and revisiting the weeds and flowers that had so fascinated me as a child and hearing my mother's voice in the wind...

It was an amazing time: it felt like I was reclaiming some lost part of myself; like a true re-union. So now I'm thinking of how much society has changed since I was a child, how often people divorce and move away, and how much is lost each time that happens, even as our circle of friends and family is enlarged. And it seems that in some way the technology which is so ubiquitous now is somehow compensating for that: Everywhere I looked people were using smartphones; texting their friends and family, checking facebook and email, sharing pictures and videos of their homes and children and grandchildren... It was really quite endearing. And it was that same technology that helped me find my missing family, allowed me to stay with a dear friend nearby, and to connect with another during an extended layover in Atlanta. Makes me think of a line from that old Joni Mitchell song, Both Sides Now: "Well something's lost but something's gained in living every day..."

3 comments:

Patricia Turner said...

It is so interesting, this exploring of one's roots. We gain so much from knowing on whose shoulders we stand. Thank you for the lovely post!

Cheryl said...

Glad you enjoyed your visit "home." Still delight in the fact that I discovered your blog from here in Hampton. I remain a faithful reader and although I may not comment much, I love both your photography and your commentary....and, to connect a few more dots, I have "Both Sides Now" on my Ipod and, like your newly found relative, grew up in Pennsylvania. :)

Diane Walker said...

What a beautifully small world!