Wednesday, February 6, 2013

A knack for knots

Our children and close friends all know that I was not all that taken with my husband when I first met him. To say the least. So when I realized on an ill-fated sailing date (on a windy day, in a small boat shaped like a bathtub with a centerboard he forgot to put down) that this guy had a thing about knots, I just put it down to yet another weirdness. I mean -- who cares about knots, right? You learn how to tie your shoes, you're done.

Thirty years later I realize that his gift for knots was a beautiful indicator of what he would be like as a husband. He has a wonderful way of gently but firmly holding things together, so that even occasional storms don't seem to tear us loose from our moorings. And yet somehow it's a perfect sailor's knot, like the one shown on the left in this image: there's never any need to untangle. One quick pull, and everything is just... released.

There's a steadiness and a freedom in that willingness to let go that I find increasingly endearing with time. Not only does it serve as a model, but it also throws my own tendency to cling or toss away into high relief. And, given his relative disinterest in all things spiritual, it may well be what keeps my spirituality broad rather than narrow. He may not talk the talk, but there's an undeniable grace in his approach to the world. And for that I am always grateful.

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