Saturday, August 24, 2013

Second-guessing the critics

I've been staring at the painting on the left for about a week now, trying to figure out if it's finished or not.

This morning I finally realized that it's really a battle between my head and my heart: my heart says it's done, and I love it. But my head says it's off balance, that white square is in the wrong place, it's not clear which end is up, there's not enough going on...

I'm realizing this is a sort of "you can't fire me I quit" aspect of my personality, this thought that if I am incredibly critical of myself I can forestall the criticism of others?  It's probably an internalized parent, but mostly it's a really marvelous way to keep your self-esteem low.

Obviously it's time to stop second-guessing the critics:  I like it, so it's done.  It's just done. And then I went and looked over yesterday's photos and found this one of a heron in the tide flats. Hmm.  I'm thinking they make a lovely pair!

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