The Circle of Compassion

My readings this morning, in Richard Rohr's Wondrous Encounters and Desmond and Mpho Tutu's Made for Goodness, both address the fact that it doesn't matter where we start.

Desmond Tutu calls it the Circle of Compassion:

"We may learn from the practice of forgiving others how to forgive ourselves.  Or we may extend the same forgiveness we offer ourselves to other people.  It does not matter where we first set foot on this circle of compassion.  The better we are able to forgive ourselves for our faults and failings, the better we are able to forgive others.  The more we forgive others for their sins and shortcomings, the more we learn to forgive ourselves."

I like the image of the Circle of Compassion, and this concept that it doesn't matter where you begin; you just have to step in.  It feels a bit like a hug to me -- which is why I chose this image today -- an approximation of the Divine Embrace.  And it ties in with that terrifying word, "AS," from the Lord's Prayer -- you know the one: "Forgive us our sins, AS we forgive those who sin against us..."

It's all wrapped up together -- our own faults, of course, and then the faults of others, which are so often the faults we find hardest to forgive in ourselves.  It all gets tangled up together -- which Desmond Tutu not only articulates beautifully, but also personalizes:

"The hard tangle of emotions that I bring to the memory of my father's acts of violence stretches its tentacles over my inability to fully forgive myself for not letting him speak to me that last night.  The more my heart softens toward one, the more it softens toward the other.  Compassion combs the knots of pain out of my memories.  Increasingly I face the man I was and the father I had with forgiveness.  In time we will both be free."

But forgiveness, of course, can be challenging.  You can understand with your head that this person had reasons for their behaviors, but still carry resentment in your heart.  And, oddly enough, you can have let go of the sense of betrayal you felt in your heart and still be carrying the catalog of slights and wounds circling around in your head.

Richard Rohr, in his usual blunt fashion, has a wonderful prayer for that challenge this morning:

"God of Spirit and Truth...I know that no change of heart happens without a change of mind, and no change of mind happens without a change of heart.  Get me started in one place or the other!"

It doesn't matter where we start.  We have only to choose to begin, and we will be led to where we most need to go.  We just need to step into that circle of compassion, and the warmth of love will begin to surround us, awakening a tender heart for both others and ourselves.