Dark thoughts

Dark thoughts, 

Triggered by minor pains 

And lack of sleep: 

Is this what life has now — and will — become, 

This constant vigilance, aware 

Of what each irritation might presage, 

No longer freely enjoying productivity, 

Reaching out and giving, 

But inward, watching each and every twinge; 

Dependent on the solicitude of strangers? 

Is this what will precipitate the end, 

Or yet another round 

Of medical interventions? 

Yes, I’m getting better, 

But will I ever be at my best again?