Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Leftover wantings: which are still real?

Have you ever noticed that whenever the future beckons, the past has a way of rising up to make itself heard? Perhaps it's just because when the time has come for a shift, we have a habit of looking back for answers to all those key questions that guide us forward:

What do -- or did -- I love?
Of all the things I've done in life, which were the most satisfying?
Where do I feel most at home?
What do I long for most?
Where have I been most understood or appreciated, and why?
What opportunities that I didn't follow up on before could be arising for me now?
Where is home, and why? Do those things/people still matter to the person I am now?

I'm thinking of these questions now because of something I read in Transitions this morning:

"As children, we may have been told that we were selfish or that we were never satisfied with what we got. Or perhaps we were told that we only thought we knew what we wanted. Or else the simple pain of disappointment grew too great as our wants were disregarded time after time, and we learned to protect ourselves by blocking off an awareness of our wantings."

Does any of this sound familiar to you? And what do we do with that part of us that has learned to be ashamed of wanting?

I have to run -- a busy day ahead -- but I wanted to put this out there for you to think about. And this photo, by the way, is of Vermont in September. One of my favorite times and places to be...


Maureen said...

Thoughtful and engaging questions, Diane. What conversations we could have.

lucy said...

a gorgeous post, diane, that resonates deeply with me. i ask those questions often with my clients and even more often with myself :-)

"finding home" may be the most important (the only?) journey of our lifetime.

as far as the 'shame of wanting' goes... my hope and belief is that it can be unlearned by asking the questions and learning to say "yes" to ourselves!

blessings to you this glorious day!