Frustrated artist

After a 4 year hiatus, I returned to National Novel Writing Month (Nanowrimo) for the month of November, writing a sequel to the mystery I wrote for Nanowrimo in 2007.  And because I spent the first week of November in Iowa, I spent the rest of the month frantically trying to catch up -- the goal (which I finally managed to reach by writing 3 or 4 chapters a day last weekend) is to produce 50,000 words in the month.

... Which meant I spent almost no time in my studio.  So I've been desperate to get back to painting, but it turns out that taking a month off has definitely set me back: I'm struggling so much with technique I can't seem to get to the sort of overflow of self-expression that feeds me. It's a good thing, and all part of the process, I'm sure -- and it's an important lesson to learn: that once we get out of a habit it can prove challenging to get back in. 

And the truth is, the paintings do have a way of reflecting my current state of mind: all three of the ones I've done since I finished the novel have this odd combination of boxed in and frantic: I think the artist in me was pretty distraught at not being able to express herself for so long... though you'd think she'd be used to it, given that she didn't even get to start painting until less than a year ago...