Balancing practicality and creativity

Those of us who are practical are occasionally accused of "playing it safe," as if there were something unsavory or cowardly about that.  But in a conversation with my engineer husband yesterday, I got some new insight into an aspect of my work that's troubled me for years.

Yesterday a friend asked me why I find it hard to motivate myself to walk 30 minutes a day.  And I had to say -- it's because I need to feel I'm working toward something.  "But isn't health a reasonable goal to work toward?" she asked.  And I realized in talking with her about it that, no, it's not enough; I need to have something tangible to show for my time -- it's just part of how I'm made.

And then my husband mentioned today in passing that engineers aren't the sort of folks who go out on a limb, try weird things, take bizarre risks, think hugely outside the box: they're eminently practical.  If they do those things, it's only just enough to solve a problem, to arrive at a product -- preferably as quickly and inexpensively as possible.   And I realized: I am a child of two engineers!  I have engineering in my genes -- which not only explains why I get restless just doing exercise for the sake of exercise, but also clarifies a number of other characteristics.  I am wired to ... produce.

Which explains why I'm so productive: something in me is always driving toward that.  But it also explains why my work is ... well ... safe.  I'm always exploring and experimenting with my art, but I never really push that hard at the boundaries; never go off the deep end, never (and I've always faulted myself for this) come up with anything daringly original.  I'm always trying to improve, but I'm rarely inventing: what creativity I have is always tempered by practical considerations.  Will it sell?  Can I finish this in a timely fashion?  Will it say what I want it to say?  What's the most effective word/color/shape to use to get my point across?  What's the least amount of verbiage/paint/film/money I need to expend to communicate effectively?

It's not that I'm looking for an excuse for how I am.  It's more that I've come to a clearer understanding of the ways in which my internal priorities affect my external behaviors.  It's great, actually, to realize that I value reliability, efficiency and competence every bit as much as I value creativity; that that stuff is in my blood.  It's sort of like another piece of the puzzle has fallen into place.  So what if I've always got a life preserver handy, somewhere nearby?  In a way, the sense of safety that gives me allows me to be a lot more adventurous!