Staying on track

There are times when life goes by in a blur; when we're on autopilot and rushing from place to place, commitment to commitment and barely aware of our surroundings. Some of that busy-ness is inevitable, of course, but some of it may also be self-protection: we keep ourselves busy to avoid the pain of sitting alone and possibly having to deal with uncomfortable thoughts or situations.

But the pace of things can prove dizzying at times, and that dizziness can leave us disoriented: we may suddenly find ourselves spinning off the track and down some unexpectedly steep incline.

Life has a way of slowing us down when we get too out of control -- disease and disaster can bring things to a standstill in an instant. A sudden glimpse of some less attractive aspect of our personalities can also stop us in our tracks: we see a behavior we thought we'd extinguished years ago rearing its ugly head -- often just as we had been congratulating ourselves for some perceived goodness -- and stop to wonder what on earth got triggered there.

But we can also choose to slow things down a bit: a conscious decision to sit, to pay attention, to take note of the blessings in our lives, can help reduce that spinning sensation and help ensure that we stay on whatever path we've currently chosen for ourselves. So yesterday, in a day full of commitments, a friend and I found a window of opportunity and went consciously off-track to visit a little park I'd discovered earlier. Though it was raining and we were not exactly dressed for the weather, we wandered down to the dock, admired the still water and the golden trees, and were rewarded with the presence of several deer who watched us quietly, lying in the grass and chewing lunch as we got into our car and drove away.

It was a moment of blessed silence in an otherwise crazy day, and for that -- and for family, and friendship, and deep, thoughtful conversation -- I am truly grateful.