Monday, April 9, 2012

Moving on...

Part of the reason I embarked on the Praying Through Lent series was because I had an experience just prior to Ash Wednesday of feeling totally blocked.  So I thought it might be good to undertake a shift; to try creating multi-layered abstract/formless images (because photography tends to be so form-based), and to try keeping my words to a minimum (personally, I think my columns tend to ramble on a bit, and I wanted to pare that down.)

So -- now that's over -- what am I left with?  Well, eventually the frustrated artist in me decided to try painting.  Results are mixed, but show some promise.  It's surprisingly stressful -- rather like singing a solo; painting makes me feel very exposed and vulnerable.  But it's good for me, I think.  I promise not to subject you to too much of this stuff...

The frustrated Buddhist in me was frequently uncomfortable with the unabashedly Christian nature of this adventure -- not unlike one of my readers, who wrote me a note saying, "I can't say I've been a big fan of your Praying Through Lent series as I just don't seem to fit into the Christian mold; but your words and images have touched me nonetheless." It was easy, on some levels, to fall back into "the Christian mold," but I did find myself chafing a bit; the mold seems too small to contain the faith that has evolved over the years.

But the best part of Lent this year was sort of the flip side of that; re-connecting with people and beliefs and faith experiences from my past.  It's been good to see that parts of my life that are no longer living at the surface of awareness are also not lost, but continue to serve as grounding elements for whoever it is I am becoming.  And how fun is that, to understand -- at the ripe old age of 62 -- that I am still becoming!  I don't know WHAT I'm becoming, but I have to say I'm enjoying the journey.

And it's all good...

2 comments:

Mystic Meandering said...

Diane, I *love* your painting! Am sorry that painting is a frustrating process for you though... It may just be that it's new territory for you - allowing your inner Self?Spirit to take over, (but you probably know that) :) From what I see here your painting looks fluid and free-spirited, as if you were just dancing with light :)

For the Buddhist in you :) you might enjoy giving a look see over at ZenDotStudio.blogspot.com She recently switched to painting abstracts and often talks about her process and frustrations. (Scroll down a bit to see previous posts...)

Christine

Diane Walker said...

Oh, wow -- thanks for the link; loved her site!