Thursday, July 7, 2011

On competition and control

I loved watching these two eagles, who appeared on our boardwalk this morning. What was particularly amusing was to watch them jockey for position on the highest section; I guess humans aren't the only animals inclined to compete for position...

And, yes, I have that competitive streak in me, as well, though I do my best to derail it.  One of the many blessings of my marriage is its non-competitiveness: we never get into the kinds of snarkiness that derailed my first marriage.  Of course, it helps that our skill sets are so completely different that neither of us even presumes to know anything about the other's areas of expertise!

But it may also be true the concept of "pick your battles" only comes with maturity: life is too short to be constantly arguing and bickering -- unless, of course, you enjoy that.  I don't, so I'm just as happy not to go there.  And with age, I am less and less inclined to want or need the headaches that come with being on top, in charge, the decision-maker, the chief. 

But that willingness to relinquish control only really works if you're also willing to accept the decisions of the person who IS in control.  If you're constantly second-guessing, badmouthing, or undermining your leader's decisions... well... you could end up not liking yourself very much.  You might consider extricating yourself from that situation.  Then you have several options: you can put yourself somewhere where you CAN be in charge; you can go somewhere where you can actually appreciate the leader's decisions or you can just... not care.  Put your head down, do your job, and don't worry about where the ship is headed.  Sadly, that latter choice has never been an option for me...

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