Of colors and sunshine

What's bubbling up for you today?

I am feeling a delicious lightness of being: the sun is out, I have the house to myself (except for the animals; 2 cats and a dog) for the first time in months, and I am still loving playing with this new image process.

I decided to put off my meditation until my husband left on the ferry this morning, and so spent my first hour or so creating this image -- which means, not surprisingly, that it pervaded my thoughts when I sat down to meditate -- a process that (sadly) only lasted ten minutes, as the cat decided he DESPERATELY needed to come in for his morning snack.

But I love the colors in this -- they're absolutely delicious for me -- and I spent what little meditation time I had luxuriating in them, imagining them printed on a soft knit fabric which I could then make into a dress...

So I came back to the computer (once the cat was put out again; he still prefers to sleep on my wrists as I'm typing) and created this alternative version of the image -- thinking, ooh, wouldn't I like to wear this -- and now, stepping back from it a bit, I am reminded of those goddesses that I was doing last winter...

What is it about color that is so extraordinarily satisfying for me?  I can't really answer that question; I only know that it's been true since I was really really young, and seems all the richer now because I am exploring it more consciously instead of just reacting to it.

Perhaps that's the learning here: now that I am immersing myself in a mix of therapy (Internal Family Systems), Buddhism, and Christianity, it feels like I am exploring LOTS of things more consciously; that I'm awake at lots of levels that have been hibernating and dark for a very long time.  I am learning that all the parts of me no longer need to be either/or -- I am either Buddhist or Christian, an artist or a writer, an individualist or at one with all creation -- but rather both/and.  And I have to say -- accepting all those parts of me, consciously respecting and appreciating each for what it has to bring to my awareness and understanding, is both freeing and exhilarating.  Yum!

... which makes me think of the poem I wrote for Logion 69 of the Gospel of Thomas:

Deep in your heart --
below the taste of despair,
the brutal lash of circumstances,
and the ache of defeat --
there lies a fount of blessings.

Let your hunger
draw you inward,
and know this: abundance
beyond your wildest imagination
is waiting for you there.

And how, you ask, will I be spending the REST of my day?  What will I do with all that exhilarating freedom, and the energy it brings? 

The answer is this: I'm going to put on my Putumayo CD of  Cuban music (so energizing!), do some laundry, and clean my daughter's room, then take a break and edit a book of poetry I'm working on, and hopefully spend some time walking on the beach, enjoying the sunlight.  Doesn't that sound like fun?  I wish you sunshine and a wonderful day --