Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Imagining flight

As I believe I've mentioned before, I belong to a book group which meets Tuesday mornings, and this year we are working our way through Byron Brown's Soul Without Shame.  The book is all about the way we judge ourselves and others, and in yesterday's session we were getting into some very difficult concepts -- not hard to understand, just difficult to watch in yourself.

Which of course meant that I got to observe them in action almost immediately after I left class.  And at times like that -- when those feelings of judgment kick in -- my fight or flight response goes into overdrive.  I SO want to kick some butt, and SO hate that feeling in myself that I just want to fly away; to join some bird commune and take off for points south; preferably somewhere where the weather is warm and I don't have to feel this awful sense of responsibility -- not just responsibility for my own actions, but also responsibility for sharing whatever is honest in my re-actions.

I just haven't quite mastered that yet -- the job of speaking the truth about what we observe without somehow appearing to criticize the person you're observing/ speaking to.  And so I get all tangled up, riding the seesaw between "they should" and "I should."  Which wreaks havoc with my sleep, which just sets me more on edge... I'm somehow certain this may sound familiar to some of you dear readers...

So I like this image this morning.  Not only does it allow me to indulge my flight fantasy just a bit, but I also find it... well... uplifting.  I am one with the birds, slightly above the pull of the water, flying towards the light.  There is a lovely brief suspension in that, a moment to stop and breathe and set aside all these irritating vacillations.

And I'm grateful.

1 comment:

Louise Gallagher said...

Oooohhhh! Great post. Especially after the meeting I had this morning with city police!