With Sophia at the window

At the close of this morning's chapter in Joyce Rupp's The Star in my Heart, there were some exercises entitled "Meeting Sophia." The first exercise intrigued me:

"Quiet your body, mind. Go to the center of your being. Picture an open window. Go and stand there, seeing Sophia standing there with you. Listen to what she speaks to you about your journey of life and the window. Quietly move from the window when you feel that Sophia is finished speaking. Write in your journal what Sophia shared with you. You may also want to write your response to her."

The awkward thing I need to confess is that even though this is my second time through this book, I don't really "get" Sophia; don't really resonate with her. I understand the concept of her as wisdom incarnate, the divine feminine within, but still some part of me doesn't grasp or accept the idea.

But somehow, standing at the window and imagining Sophia beside me... that stayed with me. I didn't do the exercise, but I thought a bit about it while I meditated, and could imagine the comfort I'd feel from Sophia's hand on my back. Which then made me think I wish sometimes I had a mother to talk to. My own mom died over 13 years ago -- and wasn't all that supportive even when she was alive. But I can imagine -- perhaps from my interactions with my own daughters -- standing at a window with a mother figure NOT my mom, whose hand rests comfortingly on my back.

What are we looking at? Why do I need comforting? And why does it feel both sad and peaceful at the same time? I'm not really sure. But somehow, even though I didn't really "go there," I can feel a little leap in my heart -- that leap you get in those moments when you feel really loved and appreciated. And understood.

So I invite you to stand at the window, too, if only for a moment, and feel that comfort and acceptance, the warm hand on your back. Even if it only lasts the duration of a breath... it feels a bit like something is healing.