Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Dear in the headlights

A friend mentioned the phrase "deer in the headlights" to me yesterday -- I forget the context -- and I decided I'd share this amusing image -- which I'd created over the weekend as a joke -- with you.

But despite the fact that I had a VERY strange dream just before I woke up, in which there was something I was about to do that kept not happening because there were people watching, I'm not finding any deeper meaning in this image: I just find it funny -- or punny.

Because the deer aren't supposed to be INSIDE the headlights, they're just supposed to be paralyzed by the spotlight and terrified to move. If they're actually IN the headlights, that would imply that they have some control over the situation, that they are equal to it, that they're not as vulnerable as they feel -- which is exactly what I began to get as my strange dream wore on. And, eventually, I gave up trying to push for a resolution and just lay back, thinking, when it's ready, it will happen.

Which I see now is a sort of obscure metaphor for the attitude I have finally adopted about my husband's unemployment (I can't believe; it's been almost a year!). They do say that the people and situations in life are put there to teach us things we need to learn. So maybe the gift in this one is that I'm learning to let go; learning both to stay alert to opportunities and to accept that I cannot force or control the timing of their arrival; learning to enjoy the blessings of the present and stay tuned to the possibilities it contains without getting too caught up in worrying about the future.

Which doesn't mean I'm entirely sanguine about the situation! I'm still pretty hyper-attentive: perhaps the lesson in this image is that he is my dear, and those headlights are me watching him for signs he's ready to tackle the job world again -- and though they're still there, I've finally turned off the energy behind the watching? Perhaps that's stretching things a bit.

But at least I'm developing a sense of humor about it... and what I see, watching him adapt, is that he's beginning to release a bit of his control needs as well; beginning to see that if we're just doing the best we can and staying attentive, life has a way of offering unexpected gifts and options. Perhaps that's the heart of faith -- just learning to trust that somehow there's a blessing in the circumstances...

2 comments:

Maureen said...

The figure must be dressed in an Alexander McQueen (rest his soul) or maybe a Bob Mackie.

Letting up on the glare is a good thing. To be ever shining the spotlight can burn even the one doing the lighting.

M.L. Gallagher said...

I'm with Maureen -- a Bob Mackie.

One thing about deer in the headlights, they have a tendency to do the unexpected and if you're not alert to the unexpected, you could hit something you don't want to!

turning off the headlights, however, means you need to be able to see in the dark -- and that can be challenging too!

Hmmmm... not sure what that means, just know, I like the image. It's very cool and the blues are awesome.