Aching for dear friends whose daughter/granddaughter committed suicide last week. In search of a laugh last night, we went to see Baywatch. The moon greeted us as we left the theater, as if to say whatever losses you endure, I will still be here for you...
And now, this morning, these words from Anne Lamott's Hallelujah Anyway:
"This is the purpose of memorial services, to cry and hold on and stick together, as well as to release ourselves from the grinding regret: How could this have happened? How can such pain exist? What else should we have done? ...
God doesn't give us answers. God gives us grace and mercy. God gives us Her own self. Left to my own devices, I would prefer answers...
As we sit, sharing our memories of Jay, every release inside us releases whatever energy inside us tethered Jay here, to this realm that was just too awful for him. We were saying, this is hard, but not as hard as it was for you here, weighed down by the anchors of so-called reality. So go now, go, unfettered."
God doesn't give us answers. God gives us grace and mercy. God gives us Her own self. Left to my own devices, I would prefer answers...
As we sit, sharing our memories of Jay, every release inside us releases whatever energy inside us tethered Jay here, to this realm that was just too awful for him. We were saying, this is hard, but not as hard as it was for you here, weighed down by the anchors of so-called reality. So go now, go, unfettered."
So, yes: however hard it is for us to say goodbye to those who make the terrible choice to leave -- the moon reminds us, waxing or waning, whether visible or not, that we are not alone in our grief.
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