It turns out I have a lot of fear around painting -- years of being raised by a critical artist mother -- and so I'm trying to make it a practice to respond to anything that beckons as a possible subject, as a way of painting through the fear to the other side.
In this case the fear has to do with painting anything remotely representational (I'm convinced I can't draw) so I did the whole painting with a palette knife so I wouldn't get caught in the details; just stick with general impressions.
Though I'm pleased with the result (note: this is an unretouched photo except for slight color corrections to restore accuracy), I'm not necessarily certain it's a direction I want to follow. But I didn't want to NOT follow just because it scared me. Having spent so much of my life making choices out of fear, I want to use this path to push beyond fear into possibility...
4 comments:
This is beautiful...you have a gift. I hope you can work through the fear! I completely relate - I also have fear when it comes to painting, although for me I think it's just the perfectionist in me that's afraid to make bad art. Thanks so much for sharing.
Once again, our thinking is along similar paths.
I like your painting -- I too sometimes paint what I fear and use a palette knife to hold myself safe outside the lines I fear I cannot hold to. :)
I love your explanation of how this exercise helped you move past a fear. A little awareness and little steps I think can make a big difference in facing our fears.
I experienced something similar yesterday in a drumming workshop. It was my first time playing a drum. I noticed that I liked to play my part quietly so as not to overpower anyone else - much like I do in real life situations. So, I purposely played a little louder and more forcefully and, lo and behold, it fit nicely and didn't overpower anyone else. A small step but it taught me something.
Wow! So much to offer in each of these comments! Yes, I am a perfectionist; yes, I find the palette knife safer; LOVE the drum story!
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