Saturday, January 30, 2010

... and all manner of things shall be well...

Good morning!

I thought I'd share this with you: this little doll is what emerged from yesterday's restlessness.

I wasn't quite sure, when the day began, why I felt so off-center. Thinking it might be because I had awakened WAY too early, I went back to bed, but was only able to get a small nap in; mostly I just lay there, churning.

But when I did get up, I had a little more energy, and I had in my head this vision of a small face made of blue clay -- which meant I would need to go out shopping. So I tackled two of the chores on my to-do list, cleaning a desktop and installing Photoshop; made myself some lunch, and then headed for Michael's for some clay.

I haven't worked with clay in years, so when I got home and sat down with it, it took several tries to get a face that had any wisdom in it. But once it seemed right, I poked holes in the edges with a toothpick (thinking she would have yarn sprouting out of them, like a lion) and set her in the oven to bake.

I'd given most of my fabric away to Katie's Comforters Guild last year, but tucked away in the garage I found a small box of unfinished quilting projects. (Note to Chris: I don't always finish projects before I start new ones. It's a goal, but clearly I still have work to do!) There were enough loose patchworked bits in there to create a body and some lovely wings, and there were enough bits of yarn floating around (more unfinished projects!) to give her hair. The holes ended up being too small to turn her into a lion -- though they were perfect for stitching her face to her head -- so I guess she'll just have to stay holey!

I then poked around in my grandmother's button box and found these four tiny heart buttons, still pinned to their yellow card in the old way, with tiny loops of wire. They'd obviously never been sewn to anything (I guess unfinished projects run in the family!), and I hadn't intended to use pink -- I'd been looking for yellow -- or hearts (too cutesy for me) -- but these were too perfect to resist.

So once she was complete I carried her all over the house, looking for a place to hang her so I could give you a photo. She looked good just about everywhere, but the best light was on the purple wall of my bathroom, so I took a picture.

By then it was almost 11 pm -- a long day, but a rich one -- and I carried her off to my bedroom, thinking I'd figure out where to hang her permanently tomorrow, but not quite wanting to let her go. And then I realized (my bedside lamp is tall, and turns on and off with a long chain) that I could hang her from the chain (she has a loop at the center of her wings). Here's a picture; she's kindly turned her back on you so you can see the loop and her wings, but she prefers to face away from the wall.

And when I did that, it was as if she came alive. She didn't want to be pressed against a wall, on a nail; she wanted to fly. And the heart buttons -- well, it turns out she was ALL about the heart buttons, and suddenly I felt this wonderful sense of peace, and love, and safety welling up from within me. She had become an expression of the divine Trust in me, and was there to reassure me (I've been feeling a little anxious lately) that "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well." (Thank you, Dame Julian of Norwich!)

I may not be perfect -- this whole project gave me SEVERAL reminders of that! -- but something in me knows I am loved. And that, my dears, has been a total blessing.


Maureen said...

I love this little doll. Her face is charmingly expressive. The heart buttons were a nice visual touch. And your words that go with it.

I also like ". . . I guess she'll just have to stay holey!" Holy, holey, wholly. Nice play on words (and especially so given the end of your post).

Sending you hugs on a day when we have blizzard conditions. Good for readin', writin', and doin' indoors.

Joyce Wycoff said...

Diane ... you should be restless more often ... what a great story ... the creative process at work and I love the Wholly-holy holey lady who now has a piece of Maureen in her, too!


Searching for and following our questioning hearts or disposition, often yields a simple sense of peace in an unexpected place or way. I think when one/you/me is inclined to seek and open to grace, IT FINDS US:) What a beautiful little reminder of that seeking and finding.

KimQuiltz said...

Yay!!!!!! She's GORGEOUS! Oh how I love Wild Women Soul Dolls (not the official name for them, I'm sure, but YOURS sure fits the bill, eh!)

Just right. Perfection.