Saturday, February 21, 2009

Hangin' out the dark stuff

I just tried hanging some dirty laundry out to dry here and it just didn't work. I was trying to talk about what it feels like to not get paid, or to get paid less, for the work I do, and it just sounded like whining. I mean, there are so many other more important issues out there. I should just be grateful that I've had the opportunity to do this for so long.

But right now I suspect any post I write will sound like a whine. Because the truth of the matter is that I just put my daughter on a plane to the east coast, and I won't be seeing her again for several months, so I'm sad. And when I'm sad, the droop shows as clearly as the laundry hanging from this woman's windows; I've never had much of a poker face. I might try to brighten things up -- you have to admit these colors are pretty much pure pleasure -- but you'll still know.

And you know, as I do, that the sadness will pass, the hole she leaves in my life will fill with other things (my husband thinks a "real job" would be an excellent candidate for that) and I'll see her again when summer comes around. But right now all I have to hang out here is the dark stuff. And even puttin' that out there is a bit of a stretch today.



Anonymous said...

The creative spirit comes in many packages!

Gberger said...

I can empathize with your pain. It's powerful to name it to yourself, without trying to jolly or shame yourself out of it. It just IS. It's hard. They are part of us; it's natural. I'm sending love to you, and I hope you can feel it.

Patricia said...

Thinking of you with love and affection. Xoxo